Not putting my address
Here for obvious reasons
Royal Leamington Spa
Warwickshire
CV31 1BB

16th May 2012

Dear The Queen,

First of all, may I take this opportunity to congratulate you on your 60th year on the throne? It is a magnificent achievement by a remarkable monarch.

What is not so magnificent, nor indeed remarkable, is the service I received when, recently, I called your office to make a perfectly legitimate enquiry.
I was extremely disappointed when the lady who answered the phone chose not shed any light on whether contingency plans were in place for the second coming of Christ. I am offended, both as a man of God and fan of the Royal Family.

Naturally, it would be a great shame if all the planning that had gone into the Jubilee weekend were to go to waste at the hands of the apocalypse. However, nobody can deny that Jesus is, like you, a very important person. All I wished to know is whether this highly significant and unpredictable religious event has been legislated for.

Were I God, I should imagine I’d find the Diamond Jubilee weekend quite an attractive one to send my son back to earth on. With the eyes of the world’s media on the stage at the celebratory garden party, it represents a PR opportunity for the almighty like no other. Surely it would make sense to offer up a few prayers asking him to save the date? Otherwise, we might be facing the biggest diary mix-up since the head of ITV had to cancel his trip to the hairdressers on the day Jeremy Kyle came in on work experience.

I hope that you will be able to shed some light on the matter, and that the person who answered the phone will be fired.

Warmest Regards,


Tom Davies

Not a proper student, admittedly. I study history and politics. However, I’m currently preparing myself mentally, physically and spiritually for an important set of exams.

Now, strictly speaking you don’t need a degree to do radio, but if a lion were to escape from a nearby zoo and savage my larynx I’d be rendered entirely useless as a presenter.

I’d probably also be dead, but that’s beside the point.

The important thing is that I’d quite like to do reasonably well in these exams, which is why The Tom Davies Daily except for in the holidays and possibly at weekends will, until 18th June, become The Tom Davies Reasonably Often.

The exciting bit is that once exams are over I will have four months in which to do stuff, so there’ll be a whole load of new videos and podcasts and radio shows and all that malarkey coming your way.

Tom x

As the radio industry prepares for the publication of RAJAR audience figures, student radio station RaW 1251 AM is delighted that its online listenership continues to impress.

Whilst week-on-week the figures may have gone down Quarter-on-quarter, the station’s listenership has risen by over 11%, which eclipses BBC Radio 1, BBC Radio 2 and BBC Radio 4. Furthermore, if you compare the station’s current listenership to last August’s figures, when all the students were on holiday, listenership is up by more than 2,000%.

With a reach of greater than 3%, the station leaves such luminaries as Jazz FM, The Hits, Kerrang! Radio, LBC, 1Xtra and the entire Absolute network trailing in its wake.

Of the latest publication of figures, station manager Jimmy Murthi said “it’s a thrill to learn that RaW’s reach is greater than most national stations, and than our immediate local competitors. My hope is that one day RaW will be heard in every kitchen, bathroom and bedroom on campus.

Presenter Tom Davies added “shove that one, Touch FM!”

Matt Rogers, Societies Officer at Warwick SU, said he was delighted that RaW had made gargantuan progress in boosting its listenership, and pledged full support for a future RaW bid to take over BskyB.

The decision to broadcast into Students’ Union food outlet The Bread Oven has undoubtedly been of significant benefit, and whilst AM listener figures are not available, the SU was pleased to confirm that it sold more than 94,000 baguettes in the last 12 months.

Also, our Head of Training Scott Henderson has bought an AM radio, to add to the one that we already own, meaning we can statistically demonstrate AM listenership to have risen by at least 100%.

- Ends –

Note to editors:

Figures are creatively based on a survey of online listening in the period Wednesday 9^th – Tuesday 15^th May.

For further information and reaction, please contact Tom Davies on thomas.davies@warwick.ac.uk or 07787 568 064.

His Twitter is @TomAndThat and he is currently single.

It’s all well and good for people who are in relationships, but if truth be told there’s nothing that humanity despises more than public displays of affection (or PDA).

That’s why we’ve come up with The Kissing Forecast.

The idea is simple. Whenever you see a particularly gross PDA let us know! Then, every week on The Tom Davies Show with Tom Davies, we’ll run through the hotspots and the notspots of places to avoid if you don’t want to have to watch couples climbing all over each other.

Obviously, if that’s your sort of thing (you weirdo), you’ll be able to use the kissing forecast to actively hunt down and spy on this sort of person. So everyone wins!

Your selfless actions have saved many millions of people from having to watch those two shagging in public.

Well done you!

Today’s Tom Davies Daily except for in the holidays and possibly at weekends is slightly different.

Instead of being a couple of minutes long, it’s more like ten. That’s because it’s the best bits from The Tom Davies Hour from 12-2 on RaW 1251 AM.

On today’s show:
War is declared on Room To Swing A Cat, who decided they didn’t want to leave at the end of their show.

The singer Mika is accused of plagiarism.

Chief Engineer Jonty, who never speaks on the radio, actually does.

We sneak up on a very coupley couple and shout at them.

Clickez ici(<- French. Clever, eh?) to subscribe on iTunes.

That’s because I’ve got a HUGE essay to finish before Monday afternoon.

However, I have very helpfully created this countdown timer so that he or she who is still writing the essay can watch the seconds tick away until the apocalypse (or freedom).

days : hours : minutes : seconds

That’s because it’s been BANNED! That’s right, banned!

When we asked our station manager at RaW whether or not we could do it, he said no. That’s why you have to listen now, before it gets taken down and we are assassinated!

Get on it lads!

Please note that, because of a royalties issue, today’s podcast is not available on iTunes.

(Click here ->) Subscribe on iTunes to make sure stuff like this drops onto your phone without you having to do anything.

To celebrate the launch of a new term, we’ve got a brand new set of jingles. Today’s podcast contains a sneak preview.

Don’t forget that rather than waste energy clicking, you can subscribe on iTunes, and watch as everything happens automagically.

It’s a bit like having your own Butler.

And if you’re The Queen, it’s like having another one.